You May be Addicted to Soccer If…
By: Laurie | December 27th, 2007
You may be a soccer addict if:
1. You’ve ever picked a bar based on which soccer channels they carry. 5 points
2. You’ve skipped a date to watch soccer. 5 points
3. You’ve considered Prozac because your team was having a bad season. 5 points
4. You can name a Wife or Girlfriend who is not Victoria Beckham. 5 points
5. You’ve stopped a strange child who was wearing a replica soccer jersey and quizzed him/her on the characteristics of the player or team. (No, I don’t recommend this. And no, I won’t bail you out if you do it in spite of my warning. But feel free to take this quiz with you to the hearing if you think it will help.) 10 points.
6. You’ve figured out how to get scores on your cell phone. 5 points
7. You’ve attempted to explain the offside rule to somebody who doesn’t care. 5 points
8. You followed after this person when he/she tried to leave the room because you weren’t finished. 15 points
9. You’ve lied to your boss to watch a game. 5 points
10. You’ve traveled more than five hundred miles to see your favorite team. 10 points
11. You know which Ronaldo has been photographed carrying a man-bag. 5 points
12. You can name a standard starting lineup for at least one team. 5 points
13. Double points for two or more teams. 10 points
14. Triple points if one of those is a national team for a nation that’s not yours. 15 points
15. OR you’re a strong fan of your own national team and you want those points! If you can name a starting lineup for your team and name two players with 100 caps, 15 points.
16. You have more than one illicit software program downloaded on your computer for watching games via the Chinese footy pirates. 5 points
17. You prefer these Chinese sites because it gets you out of listening to Tommy Smyth and/or Ray Hudson and/or Eric Wynalda. 10 points
18. You made it all the way through this quiz. 5 points.
Scoring:
0 points You don’t care. What the hell are you doing here? You’re probably American, aren’t you? Go watch some pointy ball.
5-40 points. You made it to the site. You finished the test. That’s a good start, but a larger daily dose of Vitamin S would do you a world of good. Stop by The Offside regularly to begin your regimen.
45-75 points. You’re not addicted yet. Not even close. Keep working at it!
80-100 points. Despite what your significant other might say, you are completely normal! (Now will somebody please go tell my husband.)
105 points and up. We think you’re just fine. But we’ve reserved a bed for you next to Britney and Lindsay, just in case.
The Offside Blogging Team can also be found at these Offside blogs:
Roma | World Cup | LA Galaxy | Serie A | Les Bleus | Gli Azzurri | Serbia
Category: World Football
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Comments
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1. X
2. 5
3. X
4. 10
5. X [Ha, I wish]
6. 15
7. 20
8. 35
9. X
10. X [but I wish]
11. 40
12. 45
13. 50
14. 55
15. 70
16. 75
17. 85
18. 9090 Points.
Wowza.Posted from
United States
-
Does #5 have something to do with “Italia“?
If so, I think that may be a personal problem more than anything else, Ms. Laurie.
Posted from
United States -
I scored 85.
Posted from
United States -
Actually, Chris, #5 was a kid in a Ronaldinho Barca jersey at, of all places, an elementary chess tournament. I asked him if he’d heard of Lilian Thuram. I don’t think the kid knew whether to be fascinated or terrified.
Posted from
United States -
I once saw a little boy, maybe about 5 or 6, in front of a sushi restaurant in Denver wearing an AC Milan Cafu shirt. He was also wearing a black mask and a cape. It was odd.
Posted from
United States -
Was it Alexandre Pato?
Posted from
United States -
what about getting a tattoo of your team? how much is that worth?
>.>;;
Posted from
United States -
For some reason that one never occurred to me, Mike. I guess I’m not THAT addicted. If I do a version 2.0, that will be there.
I’m feeling generous. If you have one, go ahead and give yourself 20 points.
Posted from
United States -
95 baby, woooo.
Posted from
United States -
haha, 85.
you should add “you ordered a small jersey for yourself, but the stupid store mailed you an extra large, but you still wore it because it was your team, despite the incredibly odd looks you got on public transportation” not that that happened to anyone…cough.Posted from
United States -
haha, ok so i get 20 points right away. haha
Posted from
United States -
95 points, but I don’t think #2 is a fair question because why would you date someone who wouldn’t be watching (or happy to watch) the same matches you are?
#5 sometimes can’t be helped for PUREly practical reasons, like finding out where to watch your team from a strange country (or finally discovering something to talk to an otherwise surly teenager about)…of course physically restraining them for the chat would be different…
Posted from
United States -
85. That’s a solid B, which I’ve always been content with.
Posted from
United States -
1- 5
2- 5
3- X
4- 5
5- 10
6- X
7- 5
8- X
9- 5
10-X
11-5
12-5
13-10
14-X
15-15
16-5
17-X
18-5
————-
80Posted from
Brazil -
65. Oh. I wonder why everytime I explain the offside rule to my friend they don’t understand and try to walk away from me as you’ve said!
Posted from
Hong Kong
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