You May be Addicted to Soccer If…

By: Laurie | December 27th, 2007

You may be a soccer addict if:

1. You’ve ever picked a bar based on which soccer channels they carry. 5 points

2. You’ve skipped a date to watch soccer. 5 points

3. You’ve considered Prozac because your team was having a bad season. 5 points

4. You can name a Wife or Girlfriend who is not Victoria Beckham. 5 points

5. You’ve stopped a strange child who was wearing a replica soccer jersey and quizzed him/her on the characteristics of the player or team. (No, I don’t recommend this. And no, I won’t bail you out if you do it in spite of my warning. But feel free to take this quiz with you to the hearing if you think it will help.) 10 points.

6. You’ve figured out how to get scores on your cell phone. 5 points

7. You’ve attempted to explain the offside rule to somebody who doesn’t care. 5 points

8. You followed after this person when he/she tried to leave the room because you weren’t finished. 15 points

9. You’ve lied to your boss to watch a game. 5 points

10. You’ve traveled more than five hundred miles to see your favorite team. 10 points

11. You know which Ronaldo has been photographed carrying a man-bag. 5 points

12. You can name a standard starting lineup for at least one team. 5 points

13. Double points for two or more teams. 10 points

14. Triple points if one of those is a national team for a nation that’s not yours. 15 points

15. OR you’re a strong fan of your own national team and you want those points! If you can name a starting lineup for your team and name two players with 100 caps, 15 points.

16. You have more than one illicit software program downloaded on your computer for watching games via the Chinese footy pirates. 5 points

17. You prefer these Chinese sites because it gets you out of listening to Tommy Smyth and/or Ray Hudson and/or Eric Wynalda. 10 points

18. You made it all the way through this quiz. 5 points.

Scoring:

0 points You don’t care. What the hell are you doing here? You’re probably American, aren’t you? Go watch some pointy ball.
5-40 points. You made it to the site. You finished the test. That’s a good start, but a larger daily dose of Vitamin S would do you a world of good. Stop by The Offside regularly to begin your regimen.
45-75 points. You’re not addicted yet. Not even close. Keep working at it!
80-100 points. Despite what your significant other might say, you are completely normal! (Now will somebody please go tell my husband.)
105 points and up. We think you’re just fine. But we’ve reserved a bed for you next to Britney and Lindsay, just in case.